These would be the words I heard the minute Kenzie came out of her anesthesia induced sleep. Not “Oh hi mom! So glad you fought the recovery room nurses to sit beside me for 2 hours and watch me sleep.” Not that I was surprised. She had been tooting this phrase all morning long. Oh and “Mom, tell the doctor deals off. I’m not doing it.” When they got her to take her “make me loopy” meds she was just peachy,UNTIL they put her in the MRI machine. Through the door I heard “I want my MOMMY! I want my MOMMY! I want…” and then nothing for an hour, cuz her anesthesia kicked in. When they finally emerged from the MRI I was told she had done really well, and wouldn’t have a problem with the anesthesia. And yes I had to fight to stay in the recovery room. Not physically throwing punches. No, the nurses said I had to wait outside until they had done their stuff. So I waited right outside the door. Got told I’d be more comfortable in the waiting room. To which I informed them that they were the one’s who had promised my daughter that I would be right beside her the ENTIRE time, and had not been permitted in the MRI room, but I WOULD be there when she opened her eyes. She was already scared enough. When they saw I wasn’t leaving my post they pulled up a chair beside her bed and I stayed. We finally had to shake her a wake. Which was good. Except for the “She’s always getting me into stuff I don’t want to do!” But even that died when she realized she had an iv in her hand. Oh.My.God. She went ballistic. But when all is said and done, we are through with it. I am praying that whatever happens now I am able to deal with. This may sound completely weird, and not that I even remotely want this, but I feel a little like if they found something great! Then we would know what is causing her headaches. Why she has been plagued with them since she was 4. And why they have progressively gotten worse over the years. It is so hard to sit here and watch my daughter hurt, and not know why she is hurts like she does. I am just ready to have answers one way or another. I am praying that God keeps my baby healthy and whole! Please pray that we will know more when this is all said and done. Either she will be on pain meds for the rest of her life for severe migraines, or…lets not go there. Answers. Solutions. That is all I want right now!
We have an outbreak of strep. Yep. Strep. Fun. Kenzie so loving decided to pass this through the house. I have now started with it, Donnie is feeling icky, and we are just waiting for the boys to get it. The girls are missing valentine’s stuff at school since they are uber contagious. Debi….if Sarah gets it, blame Kenzie! Just kidding.
We had Kenzie’s science fair last night, and yes I took her. She was so sad thinking she wouldn’t be able to attend. She didn’t win, but that’s okay. She knows that it isn’t the winning that counts but whether you have fun or not doing it. And reminded me of this. She got a certificate for participating, and a ribbon, which she wants to hang in her room. And she is already thinking about next year. My darling child!
Savanna’s evaluation went okay. They feel she is academically okay right now, but want her to see someone outside the school for her behavior at home. The zoning out in front of the t.v. one minute and then bouncing off the walls the next. And the immaturity. While I am on the topic of evaluations, might as well update Kenzie’s. We found a nuerologist who would see her. Normally she doesn’t she anyone younger than 10, but made an exception for Kenz. Dr. Carta has ordered an MRI (scheduled for the 5th of March) with sedation (which means tests at the hospital on the 2nd of March). Just to be safe. She also put Kenzie on a daily med to try and control the migraines. Helping a little. My u/s went good. The results were “very clear”. Which means I am now on the pill. WTF? Why in the world did I get my tubes tied, endure this crap that started afterwards, just to end up on the pill?! Oh, well. Better the pill than something else. We are still working on getting Braden seen. UGH! Soon. Hopefully soon.
Well I had the dreaded appt. Okay one of two dreaded appointments. The next will be Thursday when I find out the results. I think everything went okay at the u/s, but I did get worried when I asked the u/s dude what he was measuring. He said “Ummmm” (really long pause like he was unsure what to reply) “We measure everything.” Hello, that doesn’t help at all! That doesn’t tell me anything other than it took you too long to give what should have been an immediate response. So Thursday seems soooooooo far away right now. But I am praying, and trying to remember that God will not give me more than I can handle.
As for MacKenzie…we are trying to get in touch with the neurologist to make the appointment for her. The doctor hasn’t called me back yet, and I will continue to try and call until I get through to someone.
Braden…is it turning into a pain in the ass trying to find someone to do the evalutation on him. I will probably just go through the school like I was doing for his speech. If I can ever get a copy of his birth cert. Does it ever end?! I mean seriously. Shouldn’t it be easier to find someone to help when you need it? Doctors are out there everywhere but when you need one you can’t find one. AHHHHHH!
Savanna…I haven’t brooched this topic for a while. She is having some serious issues going on with something. She hates school, and is asking to be homeschooled. She still can’t read very well, and this is her second time through kindergarten for crying out loud. Am I just expecting too much from her? Her behaviour at times is odd. She has started hissing like a cat when she doesn’t like something. Throws more temper tantrums than the twins and Braden combined. And I just don’t know what to do with her. I have formally requested a Child Study Tema eval for her from the school, and am hoping we can figure something out.
School…it’s going. I am doing good, and keeping my grades up, but it is tedious and slow at times. I feel like we are doing some things backwards. In the end it will all work out and I will graduate with a job.
Donnie…day by day. Step by step. (Did that make you think of that t.v. show Step by Step? LOL) That is how I am taking things. Some things are definitely easier with him around. I have him to help with the kids and no need to hunt down a sitter for the kids when I just need to run to Wal-Mart for one item. Have you tried taking 5 kids into Wal-Mart? Alone? Then no need to ask why I would want a sitter for a simple run in to the great Wal-Mart. I am having issues with trust still. It is hard to believe him, even though I want to. I am constantly praying that God will lead me in the right direction. For now we are in church, and trying to deal with developing a new relationship. It’s like dating all over again. You just live with the person.
Over all life is good right now. Yes we are riding a rollercoaster of many ups and downs. Yes, we are trying to make things work for our family unit. But I am mainly relying on God for guidance, peace, and support.
Not that anyone will read this and comment. So I guess I am just writing this to make myself feel better. I am really nervous about my doctors appointment Friday. What if they find something? What if? What if? What if? I know that through it all God is there and will help me through anything that is thrown my way. But I am still scared. Can’t help it. And then with Kenzie having to go in to see a neurologist about her headaches…. I am worried to say the least. I have a high history of cancer and loads of good stuff running in my genes. Again I have to believe that God has broken those chains, and that nothing will be wrong with my baby. I can deal with migraines. I can deal with having to give her prescription strength ibuprophen for ever. I know my concerns seem silly when there are so many families facing the very things I fear. I think that is why I hesitate to write to much of what I really feel. There are too many people out there fighting cancer and tumors on a daily basis. Just look at little Tuesday. Her fight is far from over, but she is such a strong spirit! How JK and Charley face every day I will never begin to understand. I know that they are way better than me! I don’t think I could keep my faith so strong and use the experience for better like they have. And with the strong network of friends and support they have! Lord, what strength you have given this child and her parents.
I guess when all is said and done I will follow whatever God sets out before me and deal with it with prayer, my church, and the few friends I have. I know that if worst came to worst I will always have God to lean on. Please keep Tuesday in your prayers. She needs them. Her battle is long and she is such a tiny thing. Pray that God continues to give her strength, and that he continues to supply JK and Charley with peace, hope, and loads of strength. Tuesday’s brothers and her beautiful twin sister need your prayers also. Understanding this has got to be the hardest part for them. None of my issues even compare with theirs!