A year ago today my world changed. I became a widow. With 5 small kids.
When Donnie passed I was heartbroken. I didn’t understand. No we didn’t have the perfect marriage, and I know that if he was still alive right now we would be heading through a divorce. I know that we both made way to many mistakes in our marriage. But I still couldn’t believe my children had lost their dad. It was way to sudden and they didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to him. But he went like he wanted. Fast. And with a bang. A heart attack in the social security office sure does leave an impression.
The past year brought a huge change that I think Donnie would approve of. It also brought some healing for the kids and understanding that their dad wasn’t a bad man. Their dad just had a heck of a lot of demons he had to deal with. Sickness and mental illness are not easy companions. As I look back and remember the man I spent so many years of my life with, I am determined to remember the good things. The times he made me laugh. The times he was in good health. The times he was at his best in the line of work he loved.